Thursday, March 20, 2003

 
D.R. SarDesai, Vietnam: past and present (Boulder, Colorado: Westview Press, 1998).

I am so bored by the history and politics of nation-states, who is allied with whom to maintain power in a particular geo-political region, who must be appeased so that xxx does not domino into something or other...

I don't think I can ever be a straight historian for prescisely my lack of concern for state details. Where is the poetry?--it's all senseless madness. How does this bear upon people's lives?
posted by Open Mouth 5:03 PM

Wednesday, March 19, 2003

 
An old monk realized he was not yet enlightened and decided to go to a hut at the mountaintop to finish his practice. On the way up the mountain, the monk meets an old man walking down, carrying a big bundle.

The monk asked the old man, "What do you know of enlightenment?"

At this moment, the old man let go of his bundle, letting it drop to the ground.

"You mean it is that simple; just to let go and not grasp anything!?!--So now what?"

[This is what gets me...]

In answer, the old man reached down and picked up the bundle and continued down the mountain.

From Jack Kornfield's A Path With Heart (154), a book that was on the yoga teacher training reading list
posted by Open Mouth 3:42 PM

Tuesday, March 18, 2003

 
Heh, does reading and taking a quiz online count?



This is the type of girlfriend I am...
-Bad- You're the exact opposite of what any guy
wants or needs, unless he happens to need a
quick lay. You're cruel. You toy with people.
You're probably a bitch, and i don't think i'd
like you if i met you. Oh go screw a random
male already.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

posted by Open Mouth 11:21 PM

 
Unable to sleep. Could it be the bronchitis or the new poem that I've gestated in my head, now finally seen by another pair of eyes? No, it's the echo of Coetzee's words: "There seems to be nothing at stake: nothing to lose but nothing to win either. A game for people afraid of the big league; a game for losers," too apt a description for my recent decisions. They are moderate, moderated, "quick, absent-minded, devoid of dread but also devoid of allure" (Youth: Scenes from Provincial Life II 79).


And now I see a challenge. Coetzee's entire oeuvre is a challenge: a writer who dares to imagine the feelings of a man much like himself taking advantage of a young girl's trust--and fleshes it well, without gratuity--a challenge to not only describe clearly but also imagine with risk.


Is this what keeps me up at night? How well he describes my situation of sitting in a big city, waiting for inspiration to come, deadening my senses at a dayjob, and wondering how best to kill time until destiny arrives--for Coetzee, destiny--or whatever that must be better than this, that keeps him getting out of bed in the mornings--will arrive in the form of love, a woman.


And for me? A series of failures punctuated by a few bright stars, "a readiness to fail and fail again."


What makes the story real is the number of questions the narrator asks in the first few pages. As youth, we all have that many unanswered questions.
posted by Open Mouth 6:05 AM